Being Single. Drinking Double. Seeing Triple.

I hate living at the moment. I don’t know what I’m living for. If I do or say anything my parents don’t agree with, I get ignored. And when I’m not being ignored, I’m being bitched at or bitched about with the intention of me hearing it. I’m twenty-one years old. I’m a grown woman. To be treated like this is breaking me apart.

Even down to me smoking, which my mum only found out about when she came into my uni room and went into the pockets of my jacket. She makes comments about that too and consequently, I can’t smoke at home (eg. In the back garden) or even admit to being a smoker because she would go mental at me.

She makes comments about my sex life too. The fact I’m single. Tells me I’m abnormal and that she was married at 25 and that its not normal to be single for 2 years when you’re 21.

I’m getting ready to go into town to meet them. They left me behind this morning. I’ve been forced into going into town by being told that we won’t have a Christmas this year if I don’t.

I don’t want to go.

I literally just want to die. I want to swallow down loads of pills with vodka, snort some MDMA to mask the pain of dying that way and take to my bed to wait it out.

So this is Christmas. And what have you done?